the date yourself series

Sit back, relax, & learn the true beauty of dating yourself!

The intro

I feel like we’ve all been putting too much pressure on dating, and I know I’m not the first to admit this unfortunate truth. As a collective, we tend to have high expectations before going on a date—or, at the very least, an expectation or two. How dare we!

After finally landing a date, whether it’s from Hinge (may luck be with you) or the miraculous stranger who blessed you with the seemingly rare, upfront gesture of asking you out in person (a true unicorn moment), there’s a natural excitement. Because who knows what could come of it?

Maybe it’s a night out with a possible new lover—one who sweeps you off your feet after a candlelit dinner at the hidden gem down the block and takes you dancing under the moonlight, your shared bottle of red wine fueling the moment. Or perhaps it’s a simple but cozy coffee shop date that turns into a long, meandering stroll through your local Pinterest-worthy trail, where deep conversation flows effortlessly, and before you know it, you’ve spent the entire afternoon together, ending the day watching a sunset that feels too good to be true. Or, you know… something like that.

Now, is that too much to ask for? Some may say yes. Some may be having their glass half-full these days. And listen, I know those scenes sound like they’re pulled straight from a 2000s rom-com (the kind I, too, adore), but why do moments like these feel so rare? I know it’s not you. You—beautiful, optimistic, kind, hilarious, charming—you’re not the problem. Which leaves only one possibility: it has to be them. Yes, I’m placing blame. (Apologies to those affected, but I must speak my truth!)

I’m not blaming any specific gender—I’m blaming society. The way we’ve conditioned ourselves to put pressure on dating, whether we admit it or not. And what happens when that pressure leads to inevitable disappointment? Then what?

Are we supposed to give up? Wait around for someone worthy enough to ask us out again? Lower our expectations? Skip that new wine bar we’ve been eyeing for weeks just because we don’t have a date to take us? Is this really what we’re left with?

If you answered yes to any of those, I’m going to need you to refill your glass and shift your perspective.

What if, instead of waiting for someone else to take us on the dates we dream about—ones that rarely live up to our expectations anyway—we started taking ourselves on dates? What if we stopped settling for company just to have someone there? What if we realized we don’t need anyone but our own lovely selves to enjoy that candlelit dinner, that moonlit dance, that perfectly poured glass of wine at that new bar down the street?

What if we all started truly dating ourselves—getting to know the one person we’ll be with for the rest of our lives? What if we didn’t just learn more about ourselves, but actually, truly (truly) fell in love with who we are?

Now, just… what if?

If you’re feeling the power of that what if, stay tuned for my “Date Yourself” series, where I’ll shareing ideas to help you practice the art of dating you. Not only will this practice help you discover what you love, but it’ll also raise your standards for how you deserve to be treated. So take the leap. Step out of the fear of being alone and step into being with yourself. I promise you—it’s worth it.

See you out there, my love.

Xoxo,
Avalon